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When I signed up for a fall graduate class I knew that the beginning of my school year was going to be tight. I knew that I would say good bye to friends for a while and try to create some sort of personal balance by keeping healthy and taking a break now and again. This all seemed simpler in my head.

 

Along with a lot of new curriculum at work, my research has me looking at an area that I know my work environment is not quite ready to implement. Though I can be at peace with this, the more I become vested in my research the harder it is to contain my excitement and want for my students without sounding like I am constantly asking my administration for more.

 

The more my knowledge grows, the more my enthusiasm and ideas integrate in my mind. I am starting to question whether or not the classroom is my final place or if its time to start looking at other ideas. This is scary and changes from day to day. Even more, it is an idea I do not feel comfortable sharing with my colleagues or gaining advice from my administrators. Which raises the question, then who?

 

With all of these thought trains running on parallel tracks, I am also mourning the loss of summer. I miss lazy Sundays, later mornings and time with friends. I miss being on top of twitter feeds and journal posts. I miss a cleaner house too.

 

I am sure there are people in my shoes, out there somewhere. Educators who have gotten to this point in their career and become filled with questions and thoughts about what is to be next in the larger picture. For right now, what I do know is that lesson plans for this week need to be done and I nervously await feedback on my thesis proposal. My goal for this week is to maintain balance by keeping one step ahead while taking a break to laugh with a friend.

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